HEALTHY MIND, HEALTHY LIFE

Mental Health is a psychological state of an individual who is functioning at a satisfactory level of emotional and behavioral adjustment or predominantly happens to be an absence of mental illness. According to World Health Organization (WHO), mental health includes “subjective well being, perceived self efficacy, autonomy, competence, inter-generational dependence and self actualization of one’s intellect and emotional potential, among others”.

It is often seen that children and teenagers suffer a lot from poor mental heath due to various reasons. With today’s time and age the problems are increasing rapidly and as stated by World Health Organisation ‘Worldwide 10-20 % of children and adolescents experience mental disorders’. Some of the common causes of mental health problems in children and teenagers are:

·         Having parents who are divorced or separated.

·         Having a Long-Term physical illness.

·         Experiencing the death of a close one.

·         Sibling rivalry.

·         Bullying.

·         Separation anxiety when small children are separated from their caregivers due to various reasons like; divorce, death or illness or even when introduced to a new environment like play school.

·         Generation gap with parents.

·         Toxic stress caused by irrelevant expectations of overly good performances.

·         Physical assault like punishment or domestic violence

·         Poor Nutrition or malnutrition.

·         Genetic vulnerability.

·         Hormonal changes.

·         Relationship breakdown.

·         Social isolation

·         Insomnia

·         Hypersomnia

·         Traumatic experience such as living in a war zone or facing a dreadful accident can increase the risk of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

·         Some personality traits such as Low Self-esteem or Perfectionism can increase the risk of depression and anxiety.

How can we recognise that  a child or a teenager is suffering from poor mental health

    

         Ø      DEPRESSION

Depression is generally characterized by persistent low moods and loss of interest in activities causing impairment in daily lives. Depressed individuals do not find pleasure in any activities and they tend to suffer in the process, get detached from their friends and family and become reclusive. Depression has been affecting more children today than in the last few decades. Teenagers and adolescents are more likely to be the target of this mental illness.

Ø   SELF HARM  & OPPOSTIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER/CONDUCT DISORDER

Self Harm is a very common problem among young people. Some people get reinforced as it helps them to manage intense emotional pain if they harm themselves, through cutting or burning. For example, having a bad relationship with their partners or family issues can be the risk factors in enhancing the individual to take such step. Young children today can also face the problem of harming others, being aggressive or irresponsible and violating the societal rules, spitting or making bad comments on others which are psychological termed as the symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder. Such children take certain steps as it helps them to control or deal with their inner conflicts that they happen to be suppressed for a long period and then expressing it in a violent way.

Ø  GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER (GAD)

Generalized Anxiety Disorder can cause children and teenagers to become extremely worried, panic or be nervous when it comes to dealing with a particular stressful situation. Children may be a victim of Separation Anxiety when they are separated from their close ones. Such anxiety may affect them in their developmental stages. They tend to remain aloof, or may be emotionally blunt, or they may loss interest in activities or making friends or even communicating with people.

A healthy upbringing during the early childhood years lead a healthy life   

 The early childhood years are very important in shaping the character, personality and overall development of a child. During these years, if a child undergoes stress, anxiety or depression due to various factors at home or outside, then there is a huge negative impact on the child’s mind. In order to grow up to be a well-rounded individual, it is very important that children should be exposed to a positive environment. Even if they are born with some kind of minor disability or disorder,yet  have a supportive family or surroundings, they would be able to cope with such disorders easily. On the other hand, if a child, who is normal, is exposed to a large amount of toxic stress or subject to bullying, body-shaming or the likes, the child may get into depression, which may lead to self-harm etc. An excessive amount of stress or anxiety can contribute to physical problems like binge eating and puking, low energy levels, insomnia, low concentration, irritation, violent behavior, poor health leading to poor growth, reclusive behaviour. 

 As an Early Childhood Educationist, I believe that every child should be placed in an environment which is conducive to building up of self confidence, self esteem, positive feeling towards others, empathy et.al. The development of emotional intelligence in children is very important for enabling them to cope up with stress or stressful situations, managing emotions, control of anger; etc., which are very common for them when they grow from one stage to the other. If a child is emotionally intelligent, he or she will be able to transient from one stage to the other easily, as they are more flexible and will look for the positives, even  in the negative life situations.

It is, therefore, important for the children and teenagers to have strong relationships with their family and friends and they should be encouraged to share their inner conflicts so that the nature and the cause can be diagnosed and treated effectively.

Stake Holders: which includes parents, educators, relatives etc have a huge role to play in the lives of these little children who look at them for support, comfort and guidance. They should create a sense of belongingness, empathy, develop their potential and ensure a positive and safe environment.  Mistakes and defeats should be expected and accepted. Additionally, encouraging words from adults is also important for helping children develop self confidence, high self esteem, and a healthy emotional outlook on life. Therefore, good mental health will allow the children to think clearly, develop socially and learn new skills and grow up to be a healthy individual.

Vasavi Acharya Bora

 Early Childhood Educationist, Edupreneur, M.D. Inner I Foundation Pvt. Ltd. Faculty TISS Guwahati, Director DNA Foundation for Children and Women Welfare, Author, Awardee.

Aleph: We don't lose anything,completely

9:32 pm (one evening)
The Yahoo messenger alert beeped...announcing the arrival of another message. It's a holiday tomorrow, I will have ample time, so I didn't check it out right away. After some updates in my Facebook page I turned off the Wi-Fi and finally called it a day.

7am (next morning)
Woke up to a not so sunny day. Such mornings gives me a lot of blues, more so if it a no work day. Pulling myself out of bed, I got involved with the chores I love, tending my flower pots and looking for the birds and bees...with a warm cup of tea in my hand.
After breakfast I got back to my phone and on turning on the Wi-Fi, the messenger alert beeped again to remind me of the unseen message.
I opened the message and read "Your father's name was Bupai (an Assamese word for boy), right? Deben Acharya. I was prompt in replying "yes". And then a reply to my reply came, "I will call you. Please share your number. I want to talk to you". I shared my number and waited for the call.

My father:
I lost him at the age of 4 years plus some months, and all that remains of him in my memory is his face and his upper torso. He was wearing a white shirt with black polka dots and looked a little absorbed in thoughts. Besides that, everything I know about him is what I have heard from my mother, sisters, family members, the village folks of Baligoan (in Jorhat),his friends, family friends, his fans and well wishers....and people I meet randomly, who connects to me, only because I am his daughter. He has been my inspiration and the spirit behind my unending motivation to go on, whatever may be the circumstances.
And I am always yearning to know more about him from any source, it's like my sunshine...something that gives me renewed momentum.

The Phone Rings...and I see an unknown number and receive the call.
I hear the soft voice of  lady, saying, "I really wanted to connect to you. You are the daughter of Debendra Nath Acharya of whom I have such fond memories. She introduces herself and recalled how she met my father in Shillong (Meghalaya), when she was a little girl. When I asked the year and how he happened to visit their place, she said she did not know, as she was too young. She only remembered that he use to take her in his lap and sway her to and fro to the verse "Ai Giri Nandini, Nandita Medini, Vishwa Vinodini, Nanda Sute."(the Mahisasura Mardini Strotam).This came as a surprise to me as I have been listening to this Strotam from many years, and is one of my favourites.
Her visual memory of him wearing a white Kurta Pajama that is still vivid in her mind and his face, which she said resembles mine. This memory of my father is so much imprinted in her mind that she recalled it as her most unforgettable moments.
Later she heard that he had gone for his studied to Imperial College London. She also heard about his marriage to my mother, our stay in Duliajan and about his sudden demise.
While we talked, we understood that the Shillong connection happened through our families that resided in the same village, Baligoan in Jorhat, Assam and were neighbours. Probably he had visited their family who resided in Shillong at that time.

The present:
We talked about our families, work, and the daily bits, and hung up, with a promise to catch up soon.

*It is often said, everything that goes away, comes back in some other form...
Nothing finishes forever, an invisible thread binds it all...to the universal soul.
At times this thread is visible, at times, it is not, but it never ceases to exist.

Looking beyond our 'Gender'

Development in terms of inventions, technological advances et al. is a boon for women as it has made the lives of most women easier to navigate, more enriching and less strenuous.

If we evaluate the social bindings that tie us up (as females), we find that it is actually decided by our societal, cultural and psychological framework, which in turn, is determined by our biological characteristics. Stereotypes are, thus attached to our existences and our role as an individual is defined by these.

In prehistoric times men and women were hunters and nomads, both moving at the same pace, hand in hand...

With the gradual transition of lifestyle, from the nomadic to permanent settlements; that started with the inception of farming and cattle rearing, there was a change of prospects for the women too. They were expected to stay back and look after the farms and cattle while the men ventured out to procure the other essentials to meet a decent livelihood. The maternity and child rearing phenomenon (which is a biological function distinct from our male counterparts) further sketched their role as homemakers who were restricted to the boundaries set for them. With the passage of time females were left with physically weaker genes, socially, emotionally and economically dependent on the males.

Homo sapiens without classification of sexes (and setting aside the expected gender roles) are polygamous in nature. The consequences of sexual adventures leave its mark only on a woman, as she is the one who conceives and undergoes the process of childbirth. This makes her further vulnerable and this biological distinction started to nail down the appropriate behaviour and attitudes, roles and activities for them, and how they should relate to other people. This learned behaviour is what makes up Gender Identity and determines gender roles and responsibilities.

All through the ages the role of a woman was defined by the men they were with and the societal norms that ruled their clan. The capacity of women to create life, which is a near divine power, became a source of shame and exploitation. Eventually the status of women was reduced to such levels that they were treated as objects to pleasure men, goods to settle dues, wives to take care of the entire family and stay home bound. Their existence was only to gratify the need to of the society in diverse ways. And the worst part of this was that women too started to believe in it. They started to stay in self styled cages, like the birds that knew that the cage door was open; there were ways of escape and soar high in the sky, yet sat inside, in the comfort zones.

Even in those times there were the rebellious few, but they had to face the fury of the chauvinistic oppressors, who were not open to the idea of women sharing an equal platform, with the men folk.

But all this has changed over time; very slowly, yet steadily. There has been a major shift in the way women perceive themselves today. The advancement of science and technology has enabled women to break down the age-old shackles that bound them from time immemorial. There is no more, the fear of the threats that women were subject to, in the past. The web has increased connectivity, reach, and broadened horizon for millions of our kind. Women live a freer life and there is a growth of independence both in economic and emotional areas.

Life has become more transparent, there are answers to the questions that were previously never addressed; there is a feeling of sisterhood, support from one another, global connection, a bigger stage to explore and much more. Times are changing. There is a paradigm shift towards empowering women in the true sense of the term. 

Today our lives look more promising and there is hope in the horizon. One half of the women population is building them up and empowering themselves. They will take their light into the dark dungeons of oppression...and light up the lives of the rest.

That is the power We hold within, the power that was taken away from us, the power We have Rediscovered.

Editorial_Empower Times 2016-17/FICCI FLO

 

“Every journey that starts has to end....

What is determining the quality of this journey: is all the milestones we create, the lives we touch positively, the contributions we make, the hands we hold and the joy we spread, while we embark on it and move ahead”.

I am only a year old in FLO, and the year has been a rollercoaster ride for me, extremely exciting, mind-bending and very enlightening.

Ms. Indrani Deb our Chairperson had been very kind to entrust upon me this Herculean job (I love challenges!!!) of editing the Annual Flo Magazine for the term 2016-17. When I sat down with my work of compilation and chronologically arranging the events, workshops, fund raisers, CSR activities, to name a few;  that were held during the year, I was thrilled to see the quantum of work taken up by FLO to empower women from all sections of the society.

Being a feminist to the core, I believe that an empowered woman is one who is independent not only financially but also emotionally.  It is most important for a woman to understand her essence and her worth and move ahead, breaking down the barriers that are put up by society, in diverse ways. Gender discrimination has been a part of our social set up since time immemorial and it exists in both overt and covert forms of bias and this has led to a gigantic gap in the development and progress of a huge section (women) of the society, which actually outnumbers men.

With the right dose of education, skill development trainings and programmes, health and hygiene awareness, self defence training, pro-women policy building, counselling, creating awareness about  women rights and privileges  et all; these women can become positive contributors to the society they live in and to the nation at large. Those who are fortunate enough to create a niche for themselves should encourage their less fortunate equivalents to take a step towards bridging the distance between home and workplace. Every daughter born into a family should be taught to understand her worth, develop positive self esteem and given equal opportunity for growth with her male counterpart, thus tearing the stereotyped roles attached to her existence.

Organisations that work towards women welfare, should join hands and build a coherent support system (encompassing all areas) to strengthen and empower them, to enable a woman  to live a life of respect and dignity .I am real happy to be a part of FLO that endeavours to make a concrete difference.

 “I raise my voice-not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard...we cannot succeed when half of us are held back”-Malala

Signing off with a note of positivity and hope...

Vasavi Acharya

Awakening

What is the THIRD EYE?
It's the awakening of the consciousness, the awareness of the internal and the discerning of the external. I had once met a person who said that his Third Eye had opened and that he could perceive the world with full awareness. He could also see creatures from different planes or dimensions (it sounded scary). It enables him to have a clear insight into one's life and beyond. It was like seeing everything through the naked eye without any rose tinted shades. Such naked revelations are very difficult and hard to accept, at most times.
I have a strange fascination for Lord Shiva since my childhood days. The mysticism attached to his persona (I accept him more as human, then a God) draws me more towards Him.
Present:
In the middle Himalayan ranges, Macleodganj is a small little town that is home to many tourists and has been my abode for the past two days. As I sit in one of the wonderful home-stays, nestled in the heart of towering ranges, the songs of wild birds resonating from all around, I think of Shiva and my Third Eye. I feel as if  my inner i or my soul eye has awakened and is trying to soak in the universal energy that is all encompassing.The Universe which is vibrant with energy can be sensed more in such wilderness ...
For me opening of the all seeing Third Eye, is the stimulation of our senses to perceive and draw the universal energy inward. When the Third Eye opens, our Minds opens -it starts receiving the vibrations that is all around us and our awareness to the external is heightened.

Night Lights

A silent night, the strange sounds of nocturnal creatures, an all engulfing darkness. Far far away I see some lights twinkling, from houses built in the heart of the mountain ranges...
The steady droll of insects,  flickering lights, silhouette of the mountains, a deafening silence... and me.

My eyes move up to the sky and I see a captivating sight. Scores of stars are staring down at me. The sky looks like it is lit up by innumerable glitters and is spread like a mat above or as if lanterns are hanging from nowhere. I spot the North Star, the Jupiter, Mars and a few constellations in the of midst cluster of stars. I feel like I have lost myself in the heavenly light.

And when I look upon the lights on earth, it seems like the stars have touched the mountains below, embracing them in the silent stillness of the night.  And I stand still, soaking in the harmony and beauty of this wonderful sight...😊
Khajjiar,Himachal Pradesh

Contemplation

On a beautiful sunny morning, it is so unfortunate to read news about upsurge of violence, cut throat political activities, riots, disturbing speeches on religious grounds, all over the word. 
Can we people, rise above 'Religion' and think about self improvement and pledge to become Global Citizens (humans with no divide)?
Else the World will be drenched in a huge pool of blood and our future generations will have nothing but baseless wars to fight. 
I wonder if any religion, belief in one's God, (a very personal thing) should be the determining factor of one's relationships, behaviour and actions?
 A soul has no divide... Yet once it takes human form it becomes so obsessed with the religion it is born in, imposed by the social divides. I read Rabindra Nath Tagore's GORA, when I was in school, and understood the futility of such fanatical beliefs.
I would like to sign off, with this food for thought on this beautiful morning.

Fond Remembrance

In fond remembrance of my sweet Mahi Aita (Grand Aunt) 

~Late Shrimati Kalyani Phukan~

It’s real strange that time passes so quickly and we grow up so fast, yet the fond memories from the childhood days keep flashing in our minds, as if it happened only yesterday.

Mahi Aita (my grandmother’s sister) has been an integral part of my childhood days, my teens, my youth and even now….

After we shifted to Guwahati in 1981 from Duliajan, we stayed near our maternal grandparents house that was next to Moha and Mahi Aita’s house. We were like a big joint family. There was a lot of fun, sharing and genuine bonding among everyone in the family. As a kid, I along with my cousins use to be active members visiting everyone’s houses in the huge campus looking for fun and play. We were Mango thieves; spoilt brats, noisy lot and very experimental. I believe learning happens from varied experiences good and bad and secret explorations that adults do not approve of. Children absorb like sponges…

During that time I got the scope to learn classical music in Moha’s music school that was of much repute. Well, speaking from a kid’s angle …let me tell you that I loved the JOLSA (musical evenings) at their place. The ragas sang in harmony to the tanpura and table by upcoming singers, the violin and sitar recitals…. were beautiful memories instilled in my mind. I miss those even today and feel that Reev has missed the beauty of such an upbringing.

I was also a guest at Mahi Aita’s place for a few days. My mom was appearing for her Master’s final exam and Mahi Aita offered to look after me for those days. Those were such wonderful days. I felt like a queen from all the pampering bestowed upon me.

Time flew….situations changed, but Mahi Aita continued to have her warm presence our lives. Her smiling and inspiring self was always there at the family get-togethers, talking to people, laughing and inspiring everyone.

My mother told me that she shared a unique bond with my father who used read out the manuscripts of his novels to her, for her opinion. He had found a guide and friend in her.

It is strange that during our last visit to Delhi, we met her at Apollo hospitals. We had gone for our Master health checkup and she was there for her routine tests with Monma and Vishesh (her daughter and son-in-law). Her health was failing but she was in her usual cheer. She even joked and played a few verbal games with Reev, while we were waiting in the lobby. That was the last time we saw her. She left us within the next 25 days. It’s amazing that some people just love to spread their light and keep spreading it, till the end of their lives.

I had seen her fighting a dreaded disease like rheumatism, when I was a kid, seen her bear pain and overcome it, seen her help people in need, seen her offer help to my mother during her tough times, run the music school with enthusiasm, maintain good relations with people, give beautiful names to the new borns’ in the family and so much more...

Children learn a lot from what they see...Today when I know that Mahi Aita is not there anymore, I feel I love her more, than I ever thought.

May her soul rest in peace…God must be real happy to have her!!!

Father Figure

‘I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection’. ~Sigmund Freud.

This is one among many quotes about a father, which I read a few years back. This one happens to make a mark in my mind.
Well, maybe I am not the right person to write about a father because I lost my father, when I was barely three years old. Father to me was someone, who was always present with us in our daily lives, but was physically absent. As I grew up, I kept hearing many stories about my father’s life from my grandmother, mother, sisters, uncles and aunts and our other family members. Those were stories from his childhood days, his school days, happy moments spent with his siblings and friends, as a student in Cotton College, and then his life at IIT, Kharagpur. The stories about his stay in London while studying at the Imperial College, followed by his stint as a professor at Engineering Colleges. I heard a lot about his excellent sense of humor. My mother use to tell us about their life after their marriage in Shillong and later at Assam Gas Company, about how he found time to write novels in spite of his busy schedule at work and frequent tours. The stories of my father were many and I always felt his presence near me, even in his absence. I remained inspired by his capability to emerge from a humble family background and achieve so much as a young man.
I felt I had many questions to ask him. As I grew up I missed him more and more and even felt lost at times. I felt his absence when I saw my friends come along with their fathers at the parent teachers’ meet at school. I missed him like anything during my days at the Delhi University, when my roommates used to talk about the special bond they had with their fathers. I felt his absence when I wanted to share my views about a book I read or about a painting I liked. I really wanted him to be there with us at the dining table and at those times I saw my mother take up a dual role, for us. I needed his counsel in those phases, which were the milestones of my life, to share my success and failures. At the time of my wedding, I felt his absence the most, because I was leaving my mother behind, all alone.
But all through these years my father has remained a strong life force behind me. The principles, virtues, morals and values that he practiced in his lifetime always helped me to take those decisions of which I have no regrets till date. I have met many of his contemporaries and acquaintances, who told me about his talents, intelligence, achievements, and about his wise counsel and helpfulness towards those who needed him. I remain in essence to try to live life according to my father’s principles and will continue to do so, till the very last day of my life. To me every single day is father’s day, and I guess it is so, for most of us. We all cherish our fathers who are or have been our role models, irrespective of the fact whether they are with us or someplace else, (in the spiritual plane). For each child his/her father is special.
Today while I play the role of a mother to our son, I feel it is the duty of every woman to encourage her child/ren to experience the love of their father and share a special bond with him. A child needs both parents during his/ her formative years and even later, as a grown up. I grew up with my mother and sisters, but I always had my father by my side, and for this I am very grateful to all those people who kept bringing him back into my life.
After all, a father is a father is a father……

 It's based on my life and my father Late Debendra Nath Acharya (Author)

Kids Can Inspire...

This is a conversation between a mom and her five and half year old son. The lady was telling her son (in very simple words) about the problem of illegal immigrants in Assam, the threat it poses to our future generations and on the socio-economic-cultural scenario of the State. The duo was just spending some time with each other in the evening after dinner.

Conversation:

The lady told her son, “I guess, maybe in another 15 years, we will have to immigrate to another part of this globe. Due to the problem of illegal immigration and the many incidents happening in Assam, we will become foreigners here after some years.” She did not try to elaborate the problems as the boy was too young to understand. She was only lamenting about the situation and wanted someone to listen to her, as it looked like a problem that has no solution. She said “We will try for your higher education in London or America.” The little boy was a little annoyed. He was very fond of his house, his neighborhood, his school and his friends.  He said, “Ma, why should we go from our place. This is the place where I was born and am living. If anyone has to leave it is them (the people you told me about), not us.” The mother persisted sadly, “But we are few in numbers and strength, so if we become fewer over the years, there will be no other alternative left”. The little boy got excited, “Few in number. What do you mean by that?”, he continued “ It is not numbers that count, it is DIMAG (Brains) coupled with strength, that will enable us to overcome such problems”. He then started speaking in Hindi (an evident influence of the cartoons) “Hamei aage bahrna hei. Bhagna nehi hei. Tumhe nahi pata?”. (We have to go forward. We cannot flee. Don’t you know this?). “How will they replace us?  They have no idea about how to enter our houses, how to switch on the T.V. or use the bathrooms. We know our place; they have no idea about it”. The innocence of the child coupled with his love for his motherland, brought a smile to his mother’s lips. She did not expect this kind of reaction from her son. She definitely learnt a few lessons from him. He showed her that nothing is impossible. No situation is so bad that it can’t be taken care of. And that the solution lies in the problem itself. She told her little one, “Now you go off to sleep…my boy. You need not worry; we will take care of what rightly belongs to us.”

After thought: 

ü  After the Asom Andolan, that took place in the 80’s there were no proper steps taken to stop infiltration of the people from across the porous border. The Asom Andolan was an attempt to check this immigration of foreigners, but then the leaders of the movement forgot the cause after they came into power.

ü  Over the years there has been unabated infiltration and occupation of our lands, even at the cost of deforestation of the forest regions, displacement of wildlife and rapid cutting down of trees and hills to accommodate the over population in the region.

ü  The economy of Assam has shown almost no growth in the past years, due to over population and dwindling job opportunities.

ü  Land patta and voting rights have been given to these foreigners by our political leaders, thus, making them permanent citizens of the State.

All these are done just to get the votes of these people, so that a Govt. stays in power or that it comes back to power again. Does  holding the reins of power, amassing wealth for their families, living in style, and moving in red light cars and people waiting to meet them, mean so much to them?

Would we ever sell our MOTHER for such small reasons? It is really a shame for the people who gleefully watch all these things happen and don’t even care. Now leaders like Narendra MODI have to come to our State to remind us about our rights and duties. This is heights of ignominy; being indifferent; and hiding our inadequacies under the veil of being accommodating...

If's

• ·       If our political leaders have some patriotism in their hearts and think about their future generations; we would be in a better position.
• ·         If the political leaders think beyond amassing wealth for their sons, grandsons and great grandsons and work towards the development of the State and its people, we would not have thought of fleeing from our own land.
• ·         If he intellectuals of our State take up this issue beyond the discussion forums and work for a proper workable solution; we could have given a better life to young people of our State.
• ·         If the younger generations who work for a livelihood and at the end of the day think about how to improve their lifestyle (by eating out, or going for a movie at a multiplex with friends and family or having a drink every evening) and think beyond the mundane, we can plan a beautiful Assam for the generations to come.

As the saying goes “It is better late than never”.  If we take up this issue, create awareness; and work towards a solution for the betterment of all, we still stand a chance to live in our State with dignity.

And by the way, how many of us really have the opportunity or education to go out of Assam and settle down with our families or to send our children abroad for higher education? The ones who are putting us in troubled waters (the political leaders) have these capacities, so they don’t care.

ARE WE FOOLING OURSELVES?

Weaver Birds Carnival 2015~Speech

Today we are celebrating the 2 nd Summer of Weaver Birds Carnival, an inter- school platform for interaction among children and I am happy to see that children love to be a part of such events, where they get a chance to interact, learn, compete and at the same time have a lot of fun. The theme of today’s carnival is-“presenting the Culture and tradition of North East India”. Keeping in tune to it, we organized an Art Competition on this theme, there was traditional dress competition and a Quiz Competition. There were also workshops for children on Pottery Painting, Terracotta creation, water hyacinth processing, traditional handloom, the Shatriya dance form etc. This year we chose this theme for Weaver Birds Carnival, so that we could encourage and initiate the little ones, into the basics of the Culture and Tradition of this region.

I believe, children are a store house of positive energy and creativity and I am sure, we all believe the same. Yet there are times, when we adults, knowingly or unknowingly, stifle their creative pursuits by bogging them more and more with routine work. This I feel is not right. Children should be allowed to express, explore and assess outcomes under the steady guidance of elders- be it parent, family members, or facilitators and they should not be restricted unnecessarily from pursuing their interests. If we do this, we interfere with their creative genius. Here I would like to quote Thomas Henry, who rightly said, “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity”. Hence we see that all great work is the result of creative ideas/ big dreams—powered by enthusiasm and fearlessness; two very strong forces that every child carries in its heart. Here I would like to narrate an incident that happened in one of our centres while I was on a visit. A child was playing with some blocks, and arranging them in different ways, thus creating an assortment of designs. Well, those blocks were not meant to be arranged in the manner in which she was doing it, yet the outcome was brilliant. Without even knowing she was able to create from her imagination….something real wonderful. And what is it that I learnt from her?  I went back to my childhood when I was full of enthusiasm, fearlessness and had no inhibitions to try out new things.

And this is exactly what we endeavor to do in a pre-school. We want to facilitate our children to grow up, to become lifelong happy learners, to chalk out new pathways… And this we do by instilling in them confidence, love, trust and joy of learning. A pre-school is not only about academics. Here children learn to interact, communicate, develop social skills, know themselves and their peers, develop team spirit, life skills and a lot more. It is the foundation of their character. Children learn from what they see, feel, experience and the conditions under which they grow up. We adults should always try to motivate them with positive inputs, so that they grow up to become individuals who contribute positively to the society and the nation.

With this note I wind up my speech and wish every little one present here a very bright future. Thank you. 

Being Women, For Women

We are Women: ~in the role of daughters, sisters, wives, lovers, mothers ….. We are women: ~ trying to play every role we are in; in a perfect way….. We are women: ~sharing our joys and bearing our sorrows, yet moving on with grace….. We are women: Brought up to be decent girls, abiding wives, working ladies yet wonderful homemakers, non-glamorous yet smart individuals, sharp witted yet non questioning, accepting what is given but expected to be non-demanding… I am also a WOMAN …..but I don’t really enjoy being one. I guess there are many others who feel the same. Because I don’t intend to be answerable to anyone; I am not willing to alter my not so womanly dress sense or for that matter my taste in food and sandals for someone’s fancy; and it is almost impossible to mould me into the societal norms of womanly standards. I am glad to do as I please and so I suffer…..I suffer from womanhood. This is real bad suffering, I must admit, the feeling of inadequacy kills. After all the high and higher education, the work experiences and years of disconnection with day to day household chores…..I turned out to be a total misfit in my marital home. I felt grossly undervalued in spite of my double role (as a homemaker & career woman) quite well. And in the last nine years of marriage I survived all of ‘it’- and in fact I have played great double role (by the way ‘survival of the fittest’….. is a proven theory). Finally I am liberated. By the grace of God I was blessed with a baby boy in the midst of my role shuffling. From the day he was born, I have felt the need to instill in him the sense of respect and love for women (I definitely don’t want the women in his life suffer). After all, ALL MEN great and small are born of women. Then how can they disrespect their mothers, eve- tease every female who pass by their ‘addas’ ( male gatherings), rape women irrespective of their ages, beat up their wives over small issues, and then blame the women for the misfortunes that befalls them? They do it because we mothers forget to teach our little boys about US. We forget to tell our little girls that they are equal to their brothers. We forget to teach them that they should never play second fiddle to anyone. As mothers, sisters, mother-in laws, whatever role we are in we downplay ourselves. We teach them to be submissive, tolerant and surrender to oppression. No amount of financial independence can bring us back our VALUE as women. It is the essence of womanhood and self belief that will liberate us from the bindings we put on ourselves. We have to be ‘WOMEN’ for ‘WOMEN’. 'Primal Shakti I bow to thee; All encompassing Shakti, I bow to thee; That through which God creates, I bow to thee; Creative power of the Kundalani; Mother of all, To thee I bow…
 (This write-up was published in The Assam Tribune, Friday supplement HORIZON, on 7 th March 2014, on the eve of International Womens’ Day)

D WOMEN WAY~an empowering experience

It was a real wonderful experience to be a part (as an awardee) of the World Women Leadership Awards which is hosted by the World Women Leadership Congress (WWLC) annually to identify and celebrate the outstanding leadership and achievements demonstrated by Women leaders that are reflected by the distinct innovations and initiatives brought by them in various private and public sectors. The award ceremony was followed by panel discussions on various topics like ‘Wonder Women –Power and Quest for perfection’, ‘Women in Leadership-Investing in others/investing in yourself’, ‘Saying Yes to You, the courage to play big’ etc. The panel discussions were the most interesting and enlightening part of the event and brought into focus a lot of issues related to working women, the challenges we face in the male dominated industries, advantages at work, work life balance, how we deal with our achievements and failures, the courage to play big, the chains that bind us, and the expectations we try to meet etc.

Some women achievers shared their life experiences on stage that are worth reckoning. They spoke about how they had a tough time balancing home and work fronts and how at many times they returned from a point when they wanted to throw in the towel. Also there was an inspiring story of one of the awardees where she narrated how her family supported her to build up the career of her choice. She was encouraged by her husband who turned into a full time home maker, so that she could achieve her dreams. There were discussions about the compromises women make for the home and family, and how we strive to strike a balance between the two. We commonly agreed that women cannot be Wonder Women and the term ‘Wonder Women’ is in fact a myth as there are continuous challenges that women face and that they need to deal with them all the time. Rightly said. Women should make their choices clearly and go ahead consciously and with awareness as regards their priorities and the choices they make. Women can multitask but it is not humanly possible to excel in everything they do. So the best possible way out is to outsource stuff we cannot do (like cooking and cleaning etc.) to others in order to have a peaceful atmosphere at home and work place.

I believe that women should also stop competing among themselves, pull each other down and instead help each other grow. We should not be in denial of our innate talents and capabilities and should foster the strength and determination to pursue our goals with confidence. There was a story of one woman who was expected to compromise in her work place in order to climb up the ladder of success. She stuck to her guns and today she is proud to see where she stands, on the basis of her merit and without compromising on her ethics. She hence broke the glass ceiling with sheer determination. I strongly feel that in a male dominated work place one needs to find out ways to excel and also to keep up her dignity and never ask for favours in the job she does. I think, women should not shy away from the word ‘Feminism’ (the advocacy of women’s right on the ground of the equality of the sexes) and instead use it more often to feel empowered. Women, as mothers, should teach their boys to respect women, for what they are and value what they do. A lady who heads an NGO called ‘He For She’ spoke about how we should partner with men instead of treating them as competitors, in achieving our career goals. The need of support from our male counterparts cannot be ruled out. It’s the need of the hour to teach the boys to respect women and the girls to understand that they should not play second fiddle to anyone. We talked about the loneliness one faces ‘AT the TOP’ and ways to remain grounded in spite of the soaring careers. At the end of the day, we go back home to our families who are our real support and hence it is important to maintain a balance between the two and not compromise on either. The keynote speaker, Padmashree, Mr. Alayque Padamsee, spoke about the need to address the spirit of universal ‘Personhood’, wherein everyone helps each other grow, join hands irrespective of gender, colour, community differences. The basis of all growth is Nurturing…if we nurture with care, we can create Magic. This was a brilliant platform where we got a chance to interact and share our views with women achievers who have been very successful in their career pursuits, yet have displayed high moral values, integrity and did not compromise on their family life, relationships to climb the ladder UP. We need such role models to inspire our girls who are ready to leap over the threshold in search of their career goals.

When I look back upon this day, I feel a sense of pride in being a woman. It has been one of the most wonderful days of my life and I am convinced yet again that women have the power to achieve what they want, irrespective of all the challenges they meet on the way. Kudos to the Spirit of Womanhood….

 “Everyone believes the world’s greatest lie…”says the mysterious old man. “What is the world’s greatest lie?”the little boy asks. The old man replies’ “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie”. ~Alchemist.

Vasavi Acharya 

(vasavi2005@yahoo.com)

This write up was published in The Assam Tribune, Sunday Reading on 6.3.16.

Shakti...the Feminine Energy

Durga, as perceived by me (when I was a child) was an enchantress Goddess, the one I admired, for beauty, adornments, the gorgeous dress up and above all her stature as the slayer of the all powerful demon, Mahisasura. I come from/of a family, in which Durga Puja has been celebrated for over 100 years and remember my grandmother telling us about the times, when she used to celebrate the family puja, as a young girl. Trying to keep our family traditions alive, I make an attempt to narrate the story of the enchantress Goddess to my little son. He was very excited to hear the tale which was punctuated with many questions from his end. Sensing his enthusiasm, I stressed a bit more about the feminine power and the need to respect women. Being a boy his little male ego being hurt (I suppose) he told me that although Durga was a Goddess, she was after all invoked and given a form and her powers by the male Gods. This observation came to me as a surprise, first because he is too young to make such a comment and second because I being a mother have paid little attention to this very important part of his growing up---to develop, love and respect for ‘Shakti’, as the mother Goddess as well as in her human form ‘women’. Being a Shakta at heart and an upholder of feminine energy, I wanted to gather more information about ‘Shakti’ and the Shakta philosophy. The Sanskrit word ‘Shakti’ can be translated as meaning power or energy. This power is witnessed in all the various phenomena of life- the brilliance of the sun, water, wind and the other life forces. It also represents intelligence, compassion and divine love. Most significantly, Shakti is an exclusive feminine principle. There is mention of many Goddesses in the Rig Veda, the Epics and the Puranas. It is very difficult to find Hindu literature without the mention of feminine power. The respect of Shakti in Hinduism, is also seen in the various schools of Indian Philosophy like the Vedanta School, Samkhya School , Mimamsakas. Samkhya teaches the dualistic doctrine of Prakriti (Matter) and Purush (Spirit) representing the female and the male respectively. The idea of Prakriti and Purusha is seen in the concept of Divine Consort also. It is seen that Vishnu has Lakshmi, Shiva has Parvati, Krishna has Radha as their eternal companion(Sakha) . So integral is the relationship between Prakriti and Pususha that one cannot exist without the other. This philosophy is also imbibed in the concept of Ardhanarishvara- the representation of God being half man and half woman. They are two aspects of the same being and complement each other. In Hinduism, every woman is said to be manifestation of the Divine Shakti. The feminine principle is believed to be directly present in creation in the form of our mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. If our age old Hindu philosophy gives so much respect to women, why do we see so many incidents of injustice being committed against women daily in our society? Why are our women not safe in a country, where ‘Shakti’ is revered as the great Mother Goddess? I strongly believe that this is because of our inability to impart the knowledge of our ancient Scriptures to our upcoming generations, who are our future nation builders. It is our prime responsibility as parents or teachers to inculcate these values in our younger generations. A woman, as a mother can be the best teacher as she is guided by love and compassion while delivering knowledge. Today’s women need to act as torch bearers and enlighten everyone about their real place in their house and in the society. Till the day the position/ status of woman is not revered in every household; if she is not respected and cared for, there is no significance of the grand pujas we celebrate every year.

THE GHATS OF BANARAS

Varanasi more popularly known as Benaras, located at Uttar Pradesh, is a city famous for its ghats (in the bank of the Ganga river), the Kashi Vishwanath temple (which is one of the 12 jyotirlingams in India) and its University (Beneras Hindu University). It is undoubtedly a ‘punya bhumi’ which gives one peace of mind and enables one’s soul to connect to the supernatural energy - GOD. A trip to Varanasi was planned by me and my mother long ago but it never happened, until one day, I decided that we buy the tickets and chalk out our itinerary. And this is how our trip materialized last October, during the period of SHRADH (a Hindu ritual performed for one’s ancestors, deceased parents and relatives).

We reached Varanasi airport in the afternoon and proceeded towards the hotel we had booked. As it was a hot afternoon (it looked like winter was nowhere near the corner) we first checked in at the hotel and decided to visit the Kashi Vishwanath temple (Shrine of Lord Shiva) in the evening. The weather in the evening turned somewhat pleasant and we ventured out. Through the crowded streets our car steered in the direction of the Vishwanath Temple, which is located at the heart of the city,in a crowded locality. The streets we walked through were so narrow that not even two motorcycles could cross at a time. After depositing our sandals, camera and belongings in a locker in one of the shops near the temple, we queued for Darshan. In our hands we held a small basket containing earthen lamps, incense sticks, packet of white sweets (prasadam) flowers and garlands to offer in the temple. We entered the temple premises and took the help of a local priest to guide us and show us around. The priest told us about the temple complex which consists of a series of shrines, located in the Vishwanath Gali. The main deity is linga Vishwanath which is surrounded by other temples like the Dundi Ganesh, Annapurna devi, Vinayaka etc. There is a well known as the Jnana Vapi (well of wisdom), where it is believe that the linga was hidden at the time of invasion by Aurangzeb. We visited each shrine and took blessings of the Gods. After that we went to the bank of the river Ganga for the Ganga aarti, which thousands of pilgrims gather to. We took a boat from the Dashashwamedh Ghat (a ghat is basically stairs that lead to the river Ganga where pilgrims take bath in the holy river to attain Moksha and offer prayers) to view the aarti performed by priests, for about half an hour. It was an ethereal experience; with the resonance of chants, lit lamps and priests dancing to the tune of the chants with the lamps in hand. After the aarti we took a boat ride along the ghats and stopped our boat at the Manikarnika Ghat. This ghat is most known for being a place of Hindu cremation. We saw pyres burning and there was a beeline of dead bodies coming in to be cremated. It was an unnerving yet enlightening experience. After the evening boat ride we retired for the day. The next morning before sunrise we reached the ghats again for a morning boat ride. It was indeed a spectacular sight, the sun rising, people bathing and chanting, some people performing puja, some in other boats soaking in the experience. We bought some earthen lamps from a vendor, lit them and left in the river to float. Dipping my feet in the holy water was a heavenly. During the boat ride we stopped the boat near the Kedar Ghat, alighted and climbed up the steps to the Kedar temple for darshan. Some other ghats we saw were Raj Ghat, Assi Ghat, Harishchandra Ghat Munshi ghat to name a few. After the boat ride we had our breakfast and went to the Kaal Bhairav temple (Shiva shrine). It is a fierce manifestation of Lord Shiva and is accompanied by a dog. After the temple visit we went to the Assi Ghat by car, stopped there for a while and on our way back peeked into Baba Kinaram Sthal, the epicenter of Aghor traditions. Later in the day we went shopping for sarees, tasted delicacies like chaat, Kachori, thandai, lassi, khoya malai rabri, Benarasi paan. We also visited the Ramnagar Fort located on the opposite side of the Ganga Ghats. The fort houses a museum which has unique artifacts.

From Varanasi we proceeded to Lucknow via Allahabad,(formerly known as Prayag). At Allahabad we visited the Ananda Bhavan, built by the Indian leader Motilal Nehru as the Nehru family residence. After that we went to see the Triveni Sangam, which is the confluence of three rivers the Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati. The place is considered as one of the sites of the Kumbh mela that happens every 12 years. By evening we reached Lucknow and stayed there for another day.

This was an incredible journey. While we boarded our flight for Guwahati, all I could think of was to plan another visit to these sacred places.

Vasavi Acharya Bora

Feedback may be given at:

vasavi2005@yahoo.com

This write up was published in the Assam Tribune on 29 th July 2016.

  http://www.assamtribune.com/scripts/at.asp?id=jul2916/Page20          

Pure bliss

Waking up to a trail of melody created by the chirping of birds is pure bliss….

Far away from the hubbub of city life, it was one of the most beautiful evenings we spent at Wild Grass Resort at Kaziranga National Park. A convenient halting spot for the night, on our way to Jorhat, turned into an experience worth reckoning.

We entered the gates of Wild Grass in the evening as we started from Guwahati in the late afternoon. We were greeted by the deserted place as I believe there were few guests in the sprawling resort. I guess visiting the national heritage site in an off season has its own advantages. I love quiet evenings spent doing nothing, far away from the maddening crowd.

The refreshing cup of milk tea energized me a little and we decided to spend the evening relaxing at the veranda of the sitting area outside the dinning hall. It was a quiet evening and I could feel the night and its serenity and hear the calling of the cicadas and other nocturnal creatures. A small little pussy cat was our company for the evening, meowing at times, vanishing and reappearing. It was as if he was playing some games with us. After some light snacks and a few games of cards we thought of calling it a day. It was a long day of work and travel. Soon after dinner we retired to our room and hit the bed.

Well…

Waking up to a trail of melody created by the chirping of birds, I swear is pure bliss….That’s exactly what I woke up to, one fine morning, and I sensed a deep seating feeling of happiness. I ran out to the veranda, and sat down with my eyes closed, trying to absorb every bit of it. The chirping of different birds weaved a beautiful melody, of its own. The beauty of nature is immeasurable and indescribable. The joy of the heart cannot be expressed in words…

How much we miss all this, in our city lives…amidst the city lights. And how beautiful it feels to experience such melody, once in a while…