Being Women, For Women

We are Women: ~in the role of daughters, sisters, wives, lovers, mothers ….. We are women: ~ trying to play every role we are in; in a perfect way….. We are women: ~sharing our joys and bearing our sorrows, yet moving on with grace….. We are women: Brought up to be decent girls, abiding wives, working ladies yet wonderful homemakers, non-glamorous yet smart individuals, sharp witted yet non questioning, accepting what is given but expected to be non-demanding… I am also a WOMAN …..but I don’t really enjoy being one. I guess there are many others who feel the same. Because I don’t intend to be answerable to anyone; I am not willing to alter my not so womanly dress sense or for that matter my taste in food and sandals for someone’s fancy; and it is almost impossible to mould me into the societal norms of womanly standards. I am glad to do as I please and so I suffer…..I suffer from womanhood. This is real bad suffering, I must admit, the feeling of inadequacy kills. After all the high and higher education, the work experiences and years of disconnection with day to day household chores…..I turned out to be a total misfit in my marital home. I felt grossly undervalued in spite of my double role (as a homemaker & career woman) quite well. And in the last nine years of marriage I survived all of ‘it’- and in fact I have played great double role (by the way ‘survival of the fittest’….. is a proven theory). Finally I am liberated. By the grace of God I was blessed with a baby boy in the midst of my role shuffling. From the day he was born, I have felt the need to instill in him the sense of respect and love for women (I definitely don’t want the women in his life suffer). After all, ALL MEN great and small are born of women. Then how can they disrespect their mothers, eve- tease every female who pass by their ‘addas’ ( male gatherings), rape women irrespective of their ages, beat up their wives over small issues, and then blame the women for the misfortunes that befalls them? They do it because we mothers forget to teach our little boys about US. We forget to tell our little girls that they are equal to their brothers. We forget to teach them that they should never play second fiddle to anyone. As mothers, sisters, mother-in laws, whatever role we are in we downplay ourselves. We teach them to be submissive, tolerant and surrender to oppression. No amount of financial independence can bring us back our VALUE as women. It is the essence of womanhood and self belief that will liberate us from the bindings we put on ourselves. We have to be ‘WOMEN’ for ‘WOMEN’. 'Primal Shakti I bow to thee; All encompassing Shakti, I bow to thee; That through which God creates, I bow to thee; Creative power of the Kundalani; Mother of all, To thee I bow…
 (This write-up was published in The Assam Tribune, Friday supplement HORIZON, on 7 th March 2014, on the eve of International Womens’ Day)