‘I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection’. ~Sigmund Freud.
This is one among many quotes about a father, which I read a few years back. This one happens to make a mark in my mind.
Well, maybe I am not the right person to write about a father because I lost my father, when I was barely three years old. Father to me was someone, who was always present with us in our daily lives, but was physically absent. As I grew up, I kept hearing many stories about my father’s life from my grandmother, mother, sisters, uncles and aunts and our other family members. Those were stories from his childhood days, his school days, happy moments spent with his siblings and friends, as a student in Cotton College, and then his life at IIT, Kharagpur. The stories about his stay in London while studying at the Imperial College, followed by his stint as a professor at Engineering Colleges. I heard a lot about his excellent sense of humor. My mother use to tell us about their life after their marriage in Shillong and later at Assam Gas Company, about how he found time to write novels in spite of his busy schedule at work and frequent tours. The stories of my father were many and I always felt his presence near me, even in his absence. I remained inspired by his capability to emerge from a humble family background and achieve so much as a young man.
I felt I had many questions to ask him. As I grew up I missed him more and more and even felt lost at times. I felt his absence when I saw my friends come along with their fathers at the parent teachers’ meet at school. I missed him like anything during my days at the Delhi University, when my roommates used to talk about the special bond they had with their fathers. I felt his absence when I wanted to share my views about a book I read or about a painting I liked. I really wanted him to be there with us at the dining table and at those times I saw my mother take up a dual role, for us. I needed his counsel in those phases, which were the milestones of my life, to share my success and failures. At the time of my wedding, I felt his absence the most, because I was leaving my mother behind, all alone.
But all through these years my father has remained a strong life force behind me. The principles, virtues, morals and values that he practiced in his lifetime always helped me to take those decisions of which I have no regrets till date. I have met many of his contemporaries and acquaintances, who told me about his talents, intelligence, achievements, and about his wise counsel and helpfulness towards those who needed him. I remain in essence to try to live life according to my father’s principles and will continue to do so, till the very last day of my life. To me every single day is father’s day, and I guess it is so, for most of us. We all cherish our fathers who are or have been our role models, irrespective of the fact whether they are with us or someplace else, (in the spiritual plane). For each child his/her father is special.
Today while I play the role of a mother to our son, I feel it is the duty of every woman to encourage her child/ren to experience the love of their father and share a special bond with him. A child needs both parents during his/ her formative years and even later, as a grown up. I grew up with my mother and sisters, but I always had my father by my side, and for this I am very grateful to all those people who kept bringing him back into my life.
After all, a father is a father is a father……
It's based on my life and my father Late Debendra Nath Acharya (Author)
